The right one

I had my fair share of heartaches and experiences in relationships for the past 16 plus years. A person can be crazy about you one moment and treat you as someone of absolutely no significance the next. Maybe that's the impression I am giving other people as well. Its funny how this world works, people hiding behind all the masks and walls, outwardly to meet the societal norms but I guess the truth is all of us are afraid of being vulnerable to others. We are all searching for that mutual connection. And the key word is not connection but mutual. Sometimes its the wrong person, sometimes its the wrong timing. When I decide to love someone, and I strongly believe it's a matter of choice, I give my all 101%, no holds barred. I don't like to play the love games people nowadays play. I like to lay all my cards on the table and bare all. This is me, love me for who I am and I will do the same to the object of my fancy. But nowadays, its hard to even find that one person I feel a connection to. Its either someone who is so wrong or someone I can't be with. I have such a great capacity to love and i need him to just love me, that's all. I will give and I will love and it makes me happy when i see him happy and achieving his dreams. It gives me joy to do things for the one I love and see that smile on his face. But where is that mysterious RIGHT ONE? I felt God giving me a prophecy on 1st Jan 2008 that I will meet the one He wants me to marry this year. I believe he will appear soon. Someone who loves Him, who has the fear of the Lord, someone who will push me towards my call, my dreams and visions and help me grow in the potential God put in me, someone who aspires to grow in his potential and pursues his call, dreams and visions relentlessly, someone who is loving, devoted, commited and faithful. Someone who is fun loving, humourous, bold, agressive, good looking, enterprising, a natural leader and influencer, streetwise, someone who is not a conformist, good at music, creative, great capacity to love, affectionate... I desire to be loved but I want the guy to be approved by God, to be the best one and only He will know who is the best one. I wait patiently now yet my heart desires to hear the voice of someone who doesn't seem to be the right one. I just pray that I can overcome all these emotional relationship issues and temptations so that I can help other women overcome them too in future. Lord, if it is your will that i still keep in contact with him, then i pray that the sign is he will call me later... If not then help me give up.. He is not the one...